Head Over Heels In The Dales

Product description <br/>Books on Tape Box new in factory sealed double tape jewel case as seen. We ship worldwide from San Francisco bay area.<br/> Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. <br/>'Could you tell me how to spell "sex", please?' The speaker was a flaxen-haired, angelic-faced girl of about six with wide innocent eyes and a complexion a model would die for.<br/>'I ... b ... b ... b ... beg your pardon?' I stuttered.<br/>I was sitting in the comer of the infant classroom of Staplemoor County Primary School on a bright September morning, the second week into the new school term, there to observe the first lesson of the day. The children had just settled down to write their stories when the little angel approached me, paper in hand, pencil poised.<br/>'"Sex." Could you spell "sex" for me, please?' she repeated, smiling widely.<br/>I had been a County Inspector of Schools in Yorkshire now for a little over two years and during that time I thought I had become accustomed to the precocious young children I had met. I had been delighted by their humour, intrigued by their responses to my questions and amused by their sharp observations on life. But on a few rare occasions, like this one, I had been completely lost for words. My colleague and immediate superior, Dr Harold Yeats, had warned me early on in my career about such potentially hazardous situations. He had told me, that when faced with an inquisitive child who asks a tricky question or raises an embarrassing topic, to smile widely, nod sagely and be as evasive as possible.<br/>'It's like fishing for trout, Gervase,' he had once confided in me. 'You need to know when to let out the line and when to reel it in. Give it plenty of space, let it tire itself out and then it will stop thrashing. Don't be too quick to explain things to young children - you could get yourself into hot water. Just listen and take your time.'<br/>I took Harold's advice. 'Why do you want me to spell that word for you?' I whispered.<br/>'I need it for my story,' replied the child.<br/>'What is your story about?' I asked gingerly.<br/>'I just want you to spell "sex".'<br/>'Yes, but could you tell me a little about your story?'<br/>'Why?'<br/>This was getting harder. 'Well, I would like you to.'<br/>The child shook her head and breathed out heavily. She answered me in a voice which had an exasperated edge to it. 'If you must know, it's about a little black beetle who lives in a big, big garden and is sad and lonely and nobody loves him. All the other little creatures have friends but he is all by himself. He just sits there all day long on the compost heap feeling really, really sad and wishing he had someone to play with. Then, one day, a lady beetle climbs onto the compost heap -'<br/>'A lady beetle?' I said.<br/>'That's right, a lady beetle.'<br/>I had a glimmering of what was coming next. 'I see,' I sighed, frantically thinking of the best way to get out of what was likely to become a very uncomfortable situation.<br/>'And then,' continued the child brightly, 'she sees the lonely little beetle and asks him who he is. He tells her that he is just a sad and boring little bug and he's ugly as well and nobody loves him. She tells him he's a beautiful beetle, the beautifulest beetle she has ever seen in the whole wide world and she asks him if she can stay with him for ever and ever. They love each other and then they have lots of little baby beetles.'<br/>'I thought they might do,' I said under my breath.<br/>'But all I want is "sex"!' she said, rather too loudly for comfort.<br/>'Just keep your voice down a little,' I told her. 'What about "cuddle up" or "snuggle"? Those might be better words to use.'<br/>'I don't want "cuddle up" or "snuggle",' she replied tartly, clearly irritated by the delay. 'I want "sex".' Her voice was now loud enough to attract the attention of the headteacher who swiftly appeared on the scene.<br/>'My goodness, Mr Phinn,' she said, 'you and Melissa seem to be having a very interesting conversation.'<br/>'It's about "sex", miss,' said the li